DEAR FRIENDS,
One gift of meditation we tend to learn early in our practice (even a very short practice) is that our minds will always wander. A mind that wanders, that is distracted, that strays from our focus - whatever that is - is a very human mind. Whether or not we use our breath (or mantra, hands, feet, etc.) as an anchor for the focus for our breath, we learn that as soon as we notice our mind wandering, we can return our focus to our breath - or another anchor. We also learn that in the course of even a brief meditation, we may find that our minds wander many times. That does not indicate that we are not meditating correctly. It means that we are learning what it is to meditate. We become aware of just how prone our minds are to wandering. Perhaps our intention is to have that presence of mind, that equanimity that notices when our minds wander and gently brings our attention back to the breath. Key words to remember as we sit in this present experience of our mind that is distracted… stay steady, gently bring your attention back to your anchor. Do so with lovingkindness towards yourself and your experience, do so in non-judgment, do so with a smile. Know that you are particularly human. How are you feeling in your body right now? What sensations are you noticing?
Where else might you encourage yourself to begin again. Remember those New Year’s resolutions of last month? You were going to lose 20 pounds, return to read fiction, clean out those closets, put a couple of old books/trinkets on eBay….
How is that going for you?
Remember last week?
Try placing your hand on your heart. Kristen Neff, PhD, tells us that self-compassion releases oxytocin which helps to begin to heal all the self-judgment and harshness we may bring upon ourselves. When we place our hand on our heart - really feel the heat and warmth of the palm of your hand against your heart. Stay here as long as you wish. Feel any gratitude and love that comes from this warmth.
How do you feel when, in this moment, we place our hand on our heart, and feel into the lovingkindness for ourselves? For others? Sometimes this tiny exercise connects me with God, (you may insert love or any higher power).
Let’s see if we can return to those plans and see if you can recall some of that energy from the motivation that is related to beginning a new year.
Instead of signing on to lose 20lbs, may we instead - drink one extra glass of water a day, eat one healthy snack or meal a day?
Dr. Judson Brewer says in a habit loop where we note a trigger, behavior and reward; the key is to focus on the reward. So, if you adopt one tiny healthy or healthier habit a day (e.g., one extra glass of water, one healthier snack or meal- notice how you feel after making one small difference in your day.
What about that closet that you want to clean or organize? Start with 5 articles of clothing and discard or relocate if desired. How do you feel with that tiny change?
Do you want to start (again) to read a good book? Maybe try a wonderful fiction novel - there are many. Just read the first paragraph. Notice; how does that feel?
Dhru Purohit, in his Broken Brain podcast and his guest, BJ Fogg address the challenge of meeting with several clients who present with lethargy, stuck in poor eating habits, exhausted all the time and struggling a bit with mood.
Because the days that may be valuable to begin a new habit are the days that you are not feeling your best, BJFogg suggests the following Tiny Habit change:
Anchor: to an existing routine in which you would like to make a change
Hacking: Making the change tiny, incremental
Reward: Awareness of how you feel after you have stayed with this change no matter how small. Fogg refers to this as Shine. (A positive feeling in your body or emotion that one feels after achieving some consistency in developing a new habit).
It is the reward; that feeling, or emotion that causes your brain to rewire and to support your behavior becoming more automatic.
A sentiment of lovingkindness - for yourself, then for your loved ones and others; and the reassurance that you may begin again may be the difference in this moment.
With gratitude,